Justifications

“So why did you choose to come to Sibu?”

I get asked that question a lot ever since I got here. It usually comes right after people find out that I actually volunteered to come to Sarawak.

First of all I should clarify it here that I DID NOT ask to come to Sibu. I merely requested that when I get transferred out of Kajang, I would like to come to Sarawak as my first choice with Sabah and Perlis being the second and third options respectively. Coming to Sibu was based on the directive of the State Health Department. The policy that House Officers MUST leave the state in which they did their housemanship does NOT apply to Sabah and Sarawak though. So when I tell people that that was the case in my old place, people were genuinely surprised.

Secondly I am of the opinion that I don’t actually have to justify any of my life’s decision to anyone. In fact I don’t even believe that I have to justify them to myself. To quote The Joker “I’m like a dog chasing after a car. I won’t know what to do with one if I do catch it.”

However, since I got asked that question a lot, I think that it’s about time that I sit down and try to come up with some appropriate reasons for my decision. Surprisingly it was not as easy as I thought...

Some of the usual answers that I gave when people asked me the above question:

“I wanted to expand my horizons. Gain some experience.”

“Travel opportunity.”

“Money. I can get more allowance maa...”

“They told me I can learn more here in Sarawak.”

Of course these are knee jerk answers. Answers that I gave to questioning individuals merely in order to be polite. The real reason I came Sarawak? Well, after thinking about it for some time (after of course I actually  MADE the decision), I came up with the following list, and they are not in any particular order:

Money. I have always been very bad with money. By all logic I should be reasonably wealthy by now. However, I still drive my father’s car, haven’t got a house, and my savings seem to always get depleted. By coming to a place where there is hardly anything to spend my money on, I was hoping that I may get to save some of it. The extra allowance? Well there is actually a reason those allowance exist. Prices of goods here are not that much cheaper than in the Klang Valley. In fact many things, especially  factory produce are more expensive here than back home. The price of property and rent are also surprisingly rather high, nearly as expensive as KL – e.g. RM1000 per month for a 2 storey terrace house; RM200,000+ for a still un-built 2 storey, 3 bedroom terrace house. Madness. And I just found out that if I get my EPW, I am not eligible for an ITP.

Perspective. Being on the inside, it’s very difficult to see ourselves as viewed from the outside. Although it is not impossible. 6 years in the UK have thought me the value of different perspectives. There are many ways to look at myself, the people around me, and my own country, but only if I am prepared to shift my perspective. Me coming here is merely one of those ways. It was not necessary but is still a reason amongst many. I trained as a HO in a hospital where many of the MOs were themselves trained and have been at the same place for years. Sometimes, if not very often, their attitudes, words, and actions betray their lack of perspective. I don’t want to be like that.

I wanted to run away. From almost everything. Marriage, responsibilities, relationships, family, my past, myself. However the irony is of course that the past is notoriously hard to shake off. I wanted to be different person. A better person. I wanted to start anew.

Experience. So that when the day comes, I can say that I’ve been there and done that. Many of the people in my previous work place talk a lot about how there is better training to be had in Sarawak, and about how “housemen these days” are being too pampered and are unwilling to serve the nation. Many of these people had in fact never worked in East Malaysia themselves. I don’t want to be like one of them. Although I'm still waiting for that blow pipe injury...

Gratitude. This may sound corny but coming here to work is my way of saying thank you to my country. Ever since I was 13 I have received a lot from my country. I went to a boarding school and received some the best education funded by this country’s tax payers. I went to college and university on money paid by the Malaysian people. It’s my way of expressing my patriotism I guess. There are a lot of doctors in Peninsular Malaysia as it is already. Might as well come serve the people here. Besides, I was getting sick of screaming “Nyet!” anyway.

However, I guess the single most important reason, based on the person that I am is perhaps this:

Why not?